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2023 in Reflection: Disruption and Stability

 If there is a word I would use to describe my overall experience in 2023, it would probably be "disruption".

From 2021 until this year, I had been working as a translator for the Indonesian state news agency Antara. While I have my complaints working there, it is definitely a comfortable place to work for me. As I translate news after news, I can just feel days pass by behind me without noticing.

Honestly, I probably can stand to just work there for the rest of my life, but circumstances have compelled me to finally resign from the company. With that, the peaceful and stable days that I have taken for granted was suddenly yanked out of me. 

Given the comfortable experience that I have working as a translator, I figure that this is probably the career option that I want to pursue. The road that I trek has not been easy however (I talked about it in several posts). The hurdles that I have encountered more or less made me reconsider whether or not becoming a translator is a good fit for me. 

To an extent, it still feels weird that even though I am in the second half of my 20s, I am still figuring out what I want to do while it feels like everyone else (both families and friends) are making a great stride in their respective life journey. I know that I cannot compare myself to others, but I find that comparing myself to others is the only way for me to know my worth. It is easy to think that you are the best, but to know that you are the best is different altogether. Seeing the ways my peers have gone so far, I cannot help but feel jealous.

With all of these challenges and thoughts plaguing my head, there have been so many times that I wish I could go back to the peaceful and tranquil day that my previous position has afforded. Unfortunately, I cannot return the past. The best thing I can do now is just walk the path that I have chosen and see where it leads me. Part of me wants to believe that this disruption will lead me to a greater height. After all, growth can only comes through conflict and change. However, I know too well that the world is too chaotic and disorderly to accommodate my optimism. 

And so I continue to walk into the unknown future. I wish the best of luck for whatever journey you, my readers, are also currently undergoing.

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